


Those who won't listen (must feel)

by TheWritingRaccoon158



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Incest Kink, M/M, Masturbation, Okay a tiny bit plot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sibling Incest, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-21 20:57:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingRaccoon158/pseuds/TheWritingRaccoon158
Summary: “Kei”, Akiteru mouths before he's even thinking it through, but Kei doesn't even flinch. He just sits there, unfazed, with his face turned towards his laptop and his headphones tight around his ears, separating him from the world that exhausts him so much, sometimes.Even though those words had finally left Akiteru's mind, his mouth, nothing happens at all. The world is still turning, the seconds don't stretch out for hours, there's no crying, no denying, no talking at all. Because Kei hadn't heard him.And, probably, it's for the best. Kei shouldn’t hear a single word of this, even though it's probably been the truest thing Akiteru had ever said out loud.Because Kei, Kei won’t listen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I‘ve changed the whole thing into present tense bc it‘s a bit easier to write, but you don‘t have to reread the first chapter as i hadn‘t changed anything storywise.  
> Mind the tags, if anything tagged makes you uncomfortable then you probably shouldn't read further *duh*  
> First chapter is watching, second touching, I will post the 2. one later this ~~week~~ month (sorry!).  
>  Mind that, even though it's tagged as underage Kei's supposed to be around 16, and Aki's still living at home, so... not really canon-compatible ^^  
> Comment if you like, I always apprechiate helpful words! ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/
> 
> Please mind that english's not my mother tongue 」(￣▽￣」)

Akiteru walks past his little brother’s room, stops by the door even though he doesn't actually _want_  to stop.

And stares.

It's been like this for as long as he could remember. In Akiteru’s conscience there had always been Kei, solely and exclusively his not-so-little, sweet baby brother Kei.

That Akiteru loves him would be the understatement of the year. _Love_.

 _It sounds so silly_. He loves Kei, of course, like he loves him Mom, his Dad, his Bearded Dragon, maybe even some of his closest friends. The things he feels for Kei go way, way deeper, down to Akiteru’s profoundest core, deep down where his thoughts are the darkest, his dreams the wildest and his fantasies the filthiest, never supposed to see the earth’s broad daylight. And in the middle of it all, there's his brother, Kei.

No, calling it love is nowhere near enough.

And just looking at Kei, at his controlled movements, the way he talks, writes, laughs – just looking at him is also nowhere near enough for Akiteru.

And yet, he can do nothing more than that, just stare at his baby brother, and imagine all the things he wishes to do with him.

“Kei”, Akiteru mouths before he's even thinking further, and he almost scolds himself for making everything even excruciatingly harder for himself. But Kei doesn't even flinch. He just sits there, unfazed, with his face turned towards his laptop and his headphones tight around his ears, separating him from the world that exhausts him so much, sometimes.

From the brother that had exhausted him once, too, when Akiteru as Kei’s idol wasn’t able to tell his baby brother the damn truth. A while ago, Akiteru began to realize that not his lack of strength to be a regular at Karasuno was the thing Kei was disappointed in. That Akiteru had lied about the whole thing, that's what edges him on, and Akiteru believes that their former tight bond will never be the same as before, even though the older brother wants nothing more than that. That everything's like before. Maybe Kei’s repulsive attitude is what Akiteru brings to his knees, the most. Maybe rejecting Akiteru makes the older Tsukishima want his baby brother even more, up to a point where his whole idea of life begins to slowly fall apart.

Cause wherever Akiteru wants to go, Kei will be his brother, nothing less, and especially, nothing more than that.

“Kei, you hear me?”, Akiteru tries again, but apparently Kei doesn’t listen – can't, won't, Akiteru cannot tell, he only hears a faint beat echoing from of the headphones, and sees Kei’s toes tap along the music’s rhythm.

Akiteru wants, _desires_ so, so bad, to brush his fingers through his brother’s silky hair, to bite into the delicious flesh of his brother’s neck and hear Kei whine and wail under his grasp…

He's so, so fucked.

 _Soon_ , Akiteru thinks, _soon this’ll be over_. He'll move out of his family’s home, closer to his workplace somewhere near Tokyo, and there he'll find some nice girl or guy and settle down with them. Forget his brother and the whole misery that seems to follow him through every room of their mutual home.

“Kei, I…”, Akiteru begins, huffing out a silent laugh, smiling fondly for only Kei’s carpet to see. He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed to hold onto himself, fingernails buried so sharply into his biceps that it begins to hurt, and he wishes for these hands to be able to grasp his brother’s skin, to hold his wrists and raise them above Kei’s head, and the picture of a messy, tear-stained Kei won’t leave his mind altogether. Kei is so, so close, and yet so very far, probably the farthest one can ever be away from someone else. Akiteru could have anyone, but his damn mind choses to only want Kei, his little, innocent baby brother Kei. The pressure to just tell someone about his desires is almost overwhelming, the pressure inside Akiteru’s chest and throat makes his breathing fasten and his fingers around his biceps tighten even more.

“I know you’re not hearing me”, Akiteru says, and once again Kei makes not the slightest move except the waggling of his toes and his long, pale fingers slowly tapping the armrest of his desk chair. “Kei, I… I don’t know how to explain this, but… I know I can never tell you this face-to-face, so…” Akiteru sighs, and Kei does exactly nothing. “I love you,… Kei. It’s always been this way, and – it’s silly, so fucking stupid, I know, but…” he brushes his hand through his hair, and his knees feel more wobbly the more words leave his mouth. “Kei, I love you, more than that, actually. I hope – I know, this’ll pass, someday these weird feelings will be gone, but… for now, forgive me.”

And even though those words had finally left his mind, his mouth, nothing happens at all. The world's still turning, the seconds don't stretch out for hours, there's no crying, no denying, no talking at all. Because Kei hadn't heard him.

And, probably, it's for the best. Kei shouldn’t hear a single word of this, even though it's probably the truest thing Akiteru had ever said out loud.

Because Kei, Kei won’t listen.

 

*

 

Akiteru flops face-forward into the sheets, and groans viciously. Why had he even said that? Their mother's just down the stairs, in the kitchen, preparing some cooked egg-rice with salmon for herself and the boys since their father is still out working night shift. He'd probably never hear the end of it if she’d heard some of the disgusting shit he’d said. For his mother, telling Kei that Akiteru loves him is merely something sweet, something she wants to hear from their sons for such a long time.

If she only knew.

Akiteru yearns to touch his brother. It borders on desperation, so much that he feels the hotness of tears wailing behind his eyes, that his feet get kinda itchy, and he feels as if he has to run a whole damn marathon to calm himself down.

But, apparently, somewhere up there a mischievous god decided to torture Akiteru even more. From outside his bedroom, down the hallway he hears a shower being turned on, and as his mother is down in the kitchen the only one who's possibly taking a shower is Kei.

Wet.

_Naked._

Most definitely without his glasses, brushing his hands through his blonde hair behind a thin glass wall, over his lithe body, his pale skin, his…

Akiteru groans again, throws his head around to block out the shower’s trickling, then he notices something weird; why does he even hear the shower running so loud and clear? With the doors closed there'd be no way that –

The door stands open.

_Oh God._

_Fuck all that’s good and holy_ , but there’s no way Akiteru could order his body to lie still like this, he _has_  to get up just to see his assumption confirmed _. Yeah, just that, just – confirming._

Akiteru yanks his body upwards and is by the door with mere two steps, and then he sees, indeed, someone is showering, with the door standing wide open.

Who's he kidding: _Kei_  is showering, and Kei has left the door open. The younger brother’s glasses are placed neatly onto the stack of clothes he’d left on the bathroom cabinet, and not only them but also the shower cabin itself is fogged-up from the hot water Kei apparently showers with.

Akiteru approaches the bathroom, slowly, with his mind deep down in the gutter, wondering how it would be if he could rip his clothes off and join Kei under the lush heat of the shower. He wants to smear foam and soap all over Kei’s body, wants to make him all slippery and wet, and then, against all premonitions he wants to hook up Kei’s legs, wants to press him against the smooth, chill wall tiles, wants to kiss him and feel him, writhing, pressed so unbelievably close against his brother’s body.

Having an almost painful hard-on is surely something Akiteru's surprised about when he's so close to the bathroom that he can almost see Kei’s slim figure behind the glass cabin. He peeks around the corner, careful, waits for anything to happen – a shriek, an embarrassed glare, his mother calling out for him to help her set the table – but nothing happens, nothing but Kei, brushing his hand over his body and enjoying the water running through his blonde hair. Akiteru is half a brain cell away from drooling when he finally dares to peek around the corner properly without getting noticed; Kei's looking in the other direction, and even if he would face the door, Kei can't see shit without his glasses.

Akiteru had seen his little baby brother quite a few times naked, but that had been years ago, and Kei had sure grown a lot. Again, for emphasis: _A lot_. Through the fogged-up glass Akiteru's able to outline his brother’s fine physique, sees his skin tone that's just the slightest bit darker now that the summer sun had tanned him a tiny bit. And, not that Akiteru hadn't noticed that before, Kei's grown a lot taller, now towering over his older brother by a few centimeters, which ticks Akiteru off just a tad bit.

And most importantly, for once Akiteru's able to gawk unabashedly at his baby brother’s ass, only restricted by the shower's foggy glass pane and occasionally, Kei’s hands, scrubbing over his body in a way that shouldn’t be sexy at all, but for Akiteru, it totally is. Oh _how_ much Akiteru wants to touch these cheeks, to part them in the most lewd way possible, to encircle his little baby brother’s hole with his wet thumbs…

As if Akiteru’s hand develops a conscience by its own it releases its tight grip around the door frame and creeps down, lower, over his abs, his navel, down his waistband to absently brush over his attention-craving arousal, and Akiteru can't fucking believe that he lowers himself down to do this, here, in the hallway, where both his brother and mother could catch him quite literally with his pants down. But the urge, the insuppressible desire to touch himself is there, present, bordering on painful, and there's almost no way that he's letting this opportunity slip. He detains himself from closing his eyes in pleasure even though his eyelids begin to flutter by the way his mere palm brushes over his clothed cock’s head. Akiteru traces the outline of his brother’s shoulders, his chest, his waist, stops only to make note of Kei’s nipples, and the drops of water running over them just to fall down the drain is almost obscene in Akiteru’s eyes. No human should be able to look so lewd during a shower. But then Akiteru reminds himself that Kei is, in fact, just showering, just cleansing his body, and not putting up a show for anyone to see.

And yet, Kei throws his head back, lets both hand’s fingers run through his hair, wandering further down his neck, his chest, come to a halt right below his costal arch where the younger brother squeezes lightly, and that's when Akiteru notices that his very own hand had just vanished inside his shorts to squeeze his cock in the same manner. Akiteru almost lets out a whimper when Kei lets his hands glide further down, down to his intimacy, and Akiteru wants to see him, wants to yell that he should turn around to just fucking show him what he wants to see so desperately. Akiteru tugs softly at his dick’s tip, keeps his movements at a minimum to not gain any unwanted attention, but shamelessly watching Kei and touching himself feels so, so great. Akiteru wonders if he could even come without touching himself at all, just looking at Kei and his deft hands, currently down by his intimacy, and Akiteru has to pull his other hand up and bite into his fist to refrain himself from making any kind of noise when he feels his sharp orgasm overwhelm him, eliciting a shiver all over his body that leaves him sweaty but somewhat cold – and sticky, especially down his pants. He scrunches his nose, suddenly very aware of how much a pervert he is, and without pulling his hand out his pants nor messing them up even more he tiptoes back into his room, searching for something to make the evidence of his pathetic love-life disappear before anyone notices.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Di-ding, there it is! I've finally made it!  
> Have fun reading, I'm going to hide in my cave in shame (/°/∇/°/)  
> Comment if you like, I'm always craving for your reactions!

After what had probably been the most awkward dinner of his lifetime Akiteru falls in his sheets, once again face-forward, almost wishing he could just die here and now by suffocation. When his breathing becomes almost painful he wrangles himself upwards, tosses his body around and stares at the ceiling, seriously questioning his life choices up until this point. How is it even possible to fall in love with your very own younger brother? Where down the bumpy road that is his life had been the crossing he’d chosen the wrong turn? He had never been a betwetter, he hadn't tortured animals just for pleasure, his parents hadn't hit him during childhood… seriously, what was _wrong_ with him?

And yet, imagining Kei, who’s probably sleeping in his bed in the very next room, with his ridiculously sweet dinosaur sleeping-shirt that’s just the tiniest bit too short to fully cover his long, pale back drives Akiteru mad the more he thought about it.

Akiteru wants to turn back to lie on his stomach again, but a pretty conspicuous matter keeps him from actually doing it, something that makes it quite hard to actually sleep face-down. Or, to put it better, stomach-down.

There’s no way he’s getting off twice the same day because of his _brother_.

_Oh, fuck it._

Akiteru lifts his hips slightly, enough for his hardening cock to slip between his stomach and the silky sheets, and the resulting pressure is just what he needs right now. He spreads his legs just a bit, kneels and messes up the sheets so they’re gradually turning into a tight coil, and imagining Kei’s winding and wincing body under him becomes so, so easy right now. Akiteru grinds his hips against the curled-up sheets repeatedly, his fingers clenching into the pillow next to his head, face turned sideways to be able to breathe, when suddenly the hallway’s light is turned on. With a stifled yelp Akiteru yanks himself around, lies on his side to properly hide his straining erection and draws the blanket over his body just in time with his room’s door being opened. His mind is in a haze, questioning who the fuck walks straight into his room in the middle of the night. Akiteru notices the door closing shut a moment later, leaving the room in shallow darkness, only faintly illuminated by the decrescent moon’s light. Akiteru wonders if it’s maybe his mother, checking if her boys are asleep properly, and when she would see Akiteru sleeping (as if) she would go sleep again. But then, and it’s almost not audible, soft footsteps can be heard, slowly approaching the bed, stopping just in front.

“Aki?”

The older brother’s heart shoots straight into his throat when he hears Kei’s delicate voice saying his name, and he can’t quite decide between faking sleep and answering Kei.

“Aki? You awake?”

Akiteru feels a weight shifting the sheets, and he can only guess that Kei sits down onto the bed – the bed in which Akiteru lies in, with an erection so hard one could use it to drive nails into a wall. Once again, Akiteru pretends to be fast asleep, even though he’s curious what Kei could even want from him in such an ungodly hour.

“I know you’re awake”, Kei says, and Akiteru can vividly imagine him pout. Kei lets out a small cough. “I… I heard you.”

Akiteru pries his eyes open, his heart once again leaping straight into his throat. “What?!”

“You’re such a child, Aki”, Kei scolds, ignoring his brother’s bewildered expression. “Pretending to be asleep…”

“God, Kei, I’ – I’m so sorry”, Akiteru blurts out, lets his hands pat against his reddening face, not even remotely knowing how to pacify the situation. “I didn’t know you – I thought I was –“

“Stop blabbering”, Kei orders, and Akiteru’s mouth falls shut immediately. Despite his utter embarrassment Akiteru notices that his erection hasn’t faltered one bit. If this is good or bad at his age is debatable. “I didn’t mean right now.”

Akiteru nothing but stares at his younger brother with a bland expression.

“I meant, I heard you just now”, Kei explains, voice wavering just the slightest bit, “And I won't inquire that further, jeez, but… I meant, earlier.”

“W-what do you…?”, Akiteru asks, cerebrating about what his brother could mean by that.

“When you said, you…”, Kei sighs, hard, as if he cannot believe he’s forced to actually say that out loud. “When you said you love me.”

Akiteru’s face falls bland once again, and for a whole five second he feels neither his heartbeat nor his breathing, before it kicks back in, tightens his chest and makes his brain kinda fuzzy.

“I – I”, Akiteru stutters, not even knowing what he wants to say, and Kei shifts his weight a bit, draws his bent leg up a bit, so it’s resting on the bed.

“What did you mean by that?” Even through the shallow moonlight Akiteru’s able to see his brother’s sharp eyes, golden, curious, so clearly visible without Kei’s ever-so-present glasses, and when Akiteru lets his gaze slide lower, up to where Kei’s fingers are lightly sprawled on the bedsheets he has to hold back to not let his hips snap forward. When was the last time the two brother’s sat together in one of their rooms in the middle of the night?

“I meant that I love you – a-as a brother!”, Akiteru lies, much too predictable for the sharp-minded Kei, but what can he do but try? “I just felt like saying it.”

“You talked about some kinda phase”, Kei probes further, leaning down a bit so Akiteru sees the moon reflecting in his eyes, “that ‘it’ll pass’.

Akiteru shifts upwards, enough to bring some distance between them but not enough for the blanket to slip down and reveal his arousal, laying hard and heavy against his stomach, and only incidentally Akiteru notices his fastened breathing. “That was just… I don’t even know –“

“Don’t think I’m stupid”, Kei says, sternly, and Akiteru is fazed by the way his younger brother can order him around without batting an eye. “I know what you talked about.”

Akiteru takes a deep breath, tries to calm his nerves now that the cat was obviously outta the bag.

“Then… why’re you even asking?”

Kei shows Akiteru a small smile, acknowledging, looking down to where his finger drew a small pattern onto the silken bedsheets.

“I wanted to hear it from you, face to face”, Kei says, and Akiteru’s heart does another leap. What’s Kei up to? When he knows what Akiteru had been talking about, then why’s he even asking? And why’s he still here?

“That I love you?”, Akiteru says, “As often as you want.”

“No”, Kei replies, shifting his weight once again, touching Akiteru’s thigh with his lower back. “Like you mean it.”

“I _do_ mean it”, Akiteru says, and Kei shows him the sweet pout he always wears when someone irritates him.

“You’re an ass”, Kei intervenes, annoyance swinging by his voice, and Akiteru fears that if he chuckles now the whole mood’s out the window and Kei would walk straight out of the room.

“Kei…”, Akiteru says lowly, lifting his shivering hand to touch Kei’s knee. Much to his surprise, Kei doesn’t even move an inch. “I don’t know what you want to hear from me.”

“That you love me”, Kei states, unfazed, as if speaking about love was something he does on a daily basis. Maybe, just maybe, Kei’s still too young or too self-absorbed to really comprehend the whole scope of deep feelings such as love.

“But I said it just now –“

“No!”, Kei cuts him off sharply, and his fingers stop drawing patterns and grab a handful of the silky sheet’s material. “Not in the way I want you to.”

“Then which way do you want, Kei?”, Akiteru blurts out, almost fearing that if they continue yelling at each other their mother would wake up. Kei lets out an exasperated huff, rolling his eyes, for half a second looking at Akiteru as if he ponders over what to do next. But then, Kei dips his head forward, and then there are lips pressed against Akiteru’s, soft, neutral-tasting lips, and Akiteru, poor, bedazzled Akiteru lets his head flop back against the sheets, pulling Kei with him, returning the kiss without hesitation, one hand catching Kei by the cheek, the other one cautiously resting on Kei’s waist to stabilize him. Much to his surprise and, well, _pleasure_ Akiteru takes note of the way Kei generously skips the part where they should share chaste, experimental kisses, where he should at least ask nonverbally for his older brother’s consent. Instead Kei immediately switches to pushing Akiteru’s mouth open with his tongue, touching and tasting him, letting his eager tongue glide around the other one’s until Akiteru had to push him away to catch his breath.

“Not okay?”, Kei asks, as if the fact that they are brothers isn’t even the slightest bit worth mentioning. Akiteru just stares at him, tries to sort his words.

“I – forgot to breathe”, Akiteru chokes out eventually with big brown doe eyes, and Kei lets out a small puff of air through his nose, smirking.

“You forgot how to breathe?”, Kei asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“Not _how_ to breathe”, Akiteru responds, “Just – just… Kei, what’s this about?”

Kei scoots forward a bit, now with both knees drawn under his body, leaning towards his older brother, the brother that should be the wiser, the more reasonable one, the one that should end whatever this was supposed to turn into, even if the hard-on in his pants demands otherwise.

“Isn’t it obvious?”, Kei asks, reaching out to grab Akiteru by the cheek, but the older one pats his hand away, and Kei scowls. “What? I thought you want it, too.”

“No!”, Akiteru cries out, trying to sit up a bit more to be eye level with Kei, to be the bigger brother not only in age. “No, damn, Kei! Why the fuck do you think I’d want this?”

Instead of answering Kei gives out a devilish smirk, leans forward propped onto his arms placed next to Akiteru’s thigh, and the way he eyed his older brother was downright obscene.

“Aki, I may be short-sighted, but I’m not blind”, Kei says with a sultry voice, one that Akiteru had never imagined coming out of his always-so-indifferent brother.

“What…?”, Akiteru tries, determined to ignore the way Kei softly brushes his delicate finger over Akiteru’s wrist. “I never said –“

“I saw you jacking off”, Kei intervenes, and now Akiteru sits ramrod-straight, face flushed with embarrassment, and for a short moment he wonders if Kei actually _likes_ abashing his older brother like this. “When I was showering earlier.”

“How…?”, Akiteru askes, somewhere far back in his mind considering that Kei had indeed left the door open on purpose.

“The reflection in my glasses”, Kei says, lets his palm slowly glide over the blanket above Akiteru’s thigh, and he wonders if his perceptive little brother knows that he’s sporting an impressive erection. Still. Hurting like hell. Craving for attention. “You know, earlier, when I sat there with my headphones on… I thought you just wanted to annoy me before you blurted out that cheesy shit, so I’d silenced only the left side to hear you, and…” Kei lets his palm glide further, to where Akiteru’s shirt stretches over his abdomen. “I couldn’t understand what you meant initially, so I thought I should… test it out.”

“Test it…?” Akiteru’s heart beats so fast in his chest that he’s sure Kei feels it pumping against his fingertips. “Oh, Kei, you little shi-“

“Eh, who’s the pervert here?”, Kei taunts, golden eyes inviting Akiteru to come closer the same way his wetted lips do. Akiteru wants to assault Kei, his clever, cocky little brother Kei, pin him down against the mattress and… _well, and what?_ “Who’d watched his brother taking a shower while touching his wiener?”

“Errgh, Kei!”, Akiteru yaps, screws his eyes shut in embarrassment. “Do they teach you to talk like this in school today?”

“No they don’t”, Kei says, shuffling closer, fingertips touching his brother’s collar, “And _wiener’s_ not an especially dirty word, you know, gramps?”

Akiteru stays silent, not knowing how to keep this conversation alive without it becoming awkward. Kei smirks, as devious as a kid in his age probably can.

“Do you want me to call it differently?”, Kei asks, and Akiteru gulps.

“N-no, not exac-“

“Dick.”

“Kei!” Akiteru groans, slaps his hands against his face, beet red with both arousal and embarrassment. Kei leans closer, touches his brother’s collarbone, and wedges his knee between his brother’s legs.

“ _Cock_.”

“Honestly, you should just –“

“Penis.”

“That’s not dirty, that scientifically accurate.”

“Well, the question is, does it turn you on?”

Kei’s eyes sparkle, so very close, and Akiteru sees his own hands lift themselves to grasp Kei by his cheeks, as if they’ve come to the close to not obey Akiteru any longer. They want to touch, _everything_ on Akiteru’s body wants to embrace his little brother tightly, not let him go until they would both be wrung dry.

“Why do you even want that?”, Akiteru asks, with all the desperation and emphasis he’s able to put into the question, and Kei shows the sweet pout of his, non-vocally explaining nothing and everything simultaneously. Akiteru tries, desperately tries to keep himself from leaning forward, but half a second later he does so anyways, kisses Kei and locks their lips together, allowing Kei to let his hands roam further upwards, until their chests touch and Kei’s fingers tug softly at Akiteru’s hair. They kiss, tongue and teeth and wetness, and Kei lets out the tiniest little moan, almost nothing more than a hum, but Akiteru’s hardness reports back to duty almost immediately. Akiteru shifts his hips, tries to get away from Kei’s leg between his, but Kei only inches closer, until his pajama pants rub against Akiteru’s boxer briefs, causing Akiteru to flinch and exhale vigorously into Kei’s mouth.

“Sorry”, he blabbers, and lifts his hand to wipe his mouth, but Kei caught his fingers and places kisses against each tip individually, slightly takes the middle finger between his lips, just enough to press his pointy tongue against it, interlocking his golden eyes with his brother. Akiteru gulps, and feels as if he’s just receiving the greatest blowjob of his lifetime.

“Have you ever…?”, Akiteru asks, insecure, words tumbling out his mouth before he has a chance to string them together coherently.

“Have I ever what?”, Kei asks, letting the fingertip go so Akiteru’s able to retreat his hand, but instead the older brother decides to let it brush over Kei’s soft, curly hair.

“Ever… did this?”

“What?”, Kei asks, cocking an eyebrow, smirking, hands trailing over Akiteru’s neck while his knee between Akiteru’s legs twitches. “Kissed someone?”

“N-no”, Akiteru stutters, feeling like an imbecile when the fucking words won’t just leave his mouth. “Did someone… with your mouth?”

“You mean if I’ve sucked someone off?”

“ _Kei!_ ”

“Stop yelling my name!”, Kei insists, thumbing over his brother’s jaw, while Akiteru lets his hands fall onto Kei’s back, loosely interlocking his fingers. “I thought you’re the elder one. You’re supposed to talk properly about those things.”

Akiteru’s upper lip curls, and Kei thumbs over it, flattens it until Akiteru’s face was neutral again.

“Yeah I did”, Kei finally admits, and something inside Akiteru pops, some bubble filled with expectancy, and he can’t quite assess how to deal with this. “Just once, and it was…”

“Weird?”

“Uncomfortable.”

“Who was it?” Kei eyed Akiteru, eyebrow lifts.

“Doesn’t matter”, Kei says, and presses Akiteru’s lips open with his thumb, examining the movements meticulously, like Akiteru’s an experiment he needs to protocol.

“It does matter to me”, Akiteru mumbles against the intrusion, and Kei uses the opportunity to slip his thumb further in, touching his brother’s incisors and tongue, making him taste Kei’s sweetish, dry skin and the bluntness of his nail.

“But not to me”, Kei says, and leans forward, so Akiteru feels his moist exhale against his earlobe. “I wanted only you, anyways.”

“You just can’t blurt out something like this”, Akiteru sighs, muffled, tongue fighting against Kei’s thumb, and Kei retreats it a moment later to kiss Akiteru again, deeply, his tongue taking the same way his thumb took earlier. Akiteru breaks the kiss a moment later, worriedly. “Please, take it back.”

“I won’t”, Kei says, stubbornly, kissing Akiteru again, and the older brother wonders why he’s still restraining himself so much. Kei wants it, Akiteru wants it, so what’s the problem? _There’s a fuckton of problems_ , his brain answers, and a whole armada of _fuck you’s_ emit from his heart, limbs and dick. His brain is clearly outnumbered, and Akiteru gives in to the urges of his body, scoots upwards again and draws Kei with him, fumbling and wriggling until Kei sits on his older brother’s lap, lips still pressed against lips, heads tilted to the side and hands literally _everywhere_. Akiteru cannot stop, cannot keep himself from touching Kei, kissing Kei, imagining all the dirty things they could do tonight, they could do in a position like this.

“Tell me”, Akiteru whispers, against Kei’s lips, fingers slipping under his cute dinosaur shirt, “Who was it? Who has deflowered pretty little Kei?”

“Deflowered?”, Kei chuckles, “are you eighty?”

“Answer the question, Kei”, Akiteru hums against Kei’s neck, and he smirks when he notices the goosebumps showing themselves at the places he kisses.

“If you're intend to piss me off then there're faster ways”, Kei snides, and even though it seems as if they’re a horse’s hair away from arguing their movements tell otherwise. Kei lets his hands slip under Akiteru’s night shirt, and nudged him until he lifts his arms for Kei to remove the redundant piece of clothing. Kei lets his hands glide along the valleys and hills of his brother’s smooth chest, and eyes him curiously.

“Haven’t you heard about dirty talk?”, Akiteru asks to split the odd silence, and Kei only hums as an answer. He leans down, bends his long back and places a kiss against Akiteru’s chest, right below his right ribcage, and then trails upwards, flicks his tongue against the nipple, smirks when Akiteru’s breath hitches. Kei places more kisses against his brother’s bare skin, almost too soft, too inappropriately cute in this situation, where Akiteru’s mind was full with need and want and filthy pictures that ought to become reality tonight. Akiteru’s exhale flutters again when Kei lets his mouth trail upwards, to his brother’s ear, nibbling at the earlobe just long enough to show Akiteru what could await him if he would just let go of all his stupid self-imposed restraints.

“That’s supposed to be dirty talk, gramps?”, Kei asks, sultry, and Akiteru’s heart leapt against his chest.

“Y-yeah?”, Akiteru asks, and fears that Kei’s question wasn’t entirely informative. Kei flicks his tongue against Akiteru’s earlobe, takes it in his mouth and sucks, before he lets go to talk again, silently, sultry.

“Let me show you how that’s done the right way, Nii-chan.” Kei hadn't said the honorific since they both had still been kids, and it stirs something deep inside Akiteru up, some old, long forgotten, dusted kink Kei knew exactly that was there. “What’s wrong, Nii-chan?”, Kei asks, playfully, and Akiteru hums like an electric engine.

“Fuck, don’t do that”, Akiteru says, and adds “calling me like that”, when Kei sends him a questioning glance.

“Why not?”, Kei asks, knowing exactly why not, and Akiteru draws him into a wanton kiss, gentleness slowly seeping out the window. Kei nudged his knee closer, and Akiteru growls, yanking Kei sideways so he’s the one flattened against the bedsheets now.

“So eager”, Kei coos, and Akiteru blushes furiously, distracting them by kissing Kei again and again, as if he fears that Kei would be gone any moment now. This feels so strange, so new, so satisfying, and Akiteru wants more, more, _more_.

“I feel slightly overdressed”, Kei says blandly when Akiteru pulls his shirt’s collar aside to place kisses onto his collarbone, and the older brother spares no moment and disposes Kei of his shirt, cute dinosaurs fluttering to the carpet. Akiteru touches Kei, touches him everywhere at once, and much to his delight he notices the bulge in Kei’s loose pants, wants to touch there, too.

“Kei, I –“, Akiteru stutters, not able to convert his needs into words, but Kei understands nonetheless.

“How far do you want to go?”, Kei asks suddenly, and Akiteru draws his head back, to look into his brother’s golden eyes.

“What I want”, Akiteru says, sighing, “is way too much to ask from you.”

“And… if I do? Want you to say it?” Kei slips his legs from under his brother, and slides them apart, so that Akiteru can lay between them. Akiteru sits up on his knees a bit, much like did earlier this night when he was alone, and an excited shiver runs through his body.

“You don’t want to hear.”

“I do”, Kei insists, and his hips twitch against Akiteru, if voluntary or not he doesn’t know. “We’ve gone this far, Aki, and I want you to tell me what you want when you see me. Please.”

_Oh god, Kei’s begging. When’s the last time you’ve heard him begging?_

Akiteru notices the way Kei’s hips twitch once again, waving against him in small, hushed movements, and Akiteru understands now that Kei also wants more, more, _more_. Akiteru’s not pressuring him to do anything, Kei want all this by himself. It’s not Akiteru’s fault just because he's the older brother.

Akiteru leans down, kisses Kei’s jaw, his neck and ear, and hums in delight while he presses his hips against Kei, and makes him moan silently.

“I want to kiss you”, Akiteru says, doing exactly that. “And bite you.” He nudges his teeth into his brother’s warm flesh, and wonders if there was ever someone else before who’d claimed this spot. “And eat you if I could.” Kei’s fingernails pinch his sides when Akiteru wanders down, down to Kei’s nipples, sucking one between his lips and letting it go with a small pop. “I want to suck you, everywhere I can.”

Kei seems to suppress a whimper when Akiteru trails his tongue further down, dips it into his belly button, licks it until Kei can no longer keep his hips from shrugging upwards, and Akiteru pressed his brother down to keep him steady, to take control for himself at least this once. “I want to hear you, Kei.”

“We’re not exactly alone here”, Kei says, and Akiteru remembers that he is right. Their parents are just down the hallway, maybe sleeping, but if they make too much noise – too much noise with each other – they will hear, and then they will know, and both their tiny little worlds will shatter into pieces.

“If you have to scream I’ll gladly shut you off”, Akiteru says with a smirk and Kei shudders deliciously under his grasp. “Do you want me to make you scream?”

“Aki –“, Kei gasps, but it’s the only coherent word he’s able to say before Akiteru shifts down, towards Kei’s groin, and presses his lips against Kei’s arousal. Kei tries to lift his hips, to work against the friction, but his brother holds him, presses him against the mattress and bites into the cloth of Kei’s pajama pants.

“I want to see you”, Akiteru says, and Kei exhales with a stutter when he sees Akiteru slipping his thumbs under his pants’ seam, pulling down the cloth enough to see the pattern of Kei’s underwear. “Want to see every inch of you.”

Then, take it off”, Kei proposes, and Akiteru  wonders if Kei was always this open regarding his body. They shift and Kei wriggles his hips, until Akiteru’s able to pull his pants down, until Kei’s lying there solely in his loose boxers, the thin cloth stretching over Kei’s erection enough to make Akiteru’s mouth water. He’s about to rip off that last restriction, his tongue peeking out between his lips like he’s about to solve a difficult math problem while Kei eyes him with unabashed desire, when suddenly a creaking noise coming from the hallway makes both of them freeze, two pairs of eyes darting to the door. Faint footsteps make their way towards Akiteru’s room, and as silently as possible Kei wrestles Akiteru aside and slides down the bed, into the shadows behind the wardrobe, holding his breath until he realizes the footsteps make their way towards further down the hallway, to the bathroom. Getting caught in flagranti by their mother, with Akiteru’s hands down Kei’s pants – there’s probably no faster way to elicit a family drama that ends with Kei lying on some psychiatrist’s couch until he’s eighty.

The footsteps come, stay absent, and go, and Kei feels as if he hasn’t inhaled for about ten minutes. He comes out of his petty hideout, and sits down on the edge of Akiteru’s bed, presses his palms into his eyes and groans in exhaustion.

“That was – fucking close”, he murmurs, and feels the bed shift until Akiteru kneels behind him, his hands cautiously sliding over Kei’s hip, as if Akiteru’s not sure if he’s still allowed to touch his brother like that. He nuzzles his nose into Kei’s neck, and the way Kei tilts his head to the other side feels like a nonverbal permission to continue where they’d been interrupted. Kei turns his head to catch Akiteru’s lips in a lopsided kiss, and Akiteru slides his hands over Kei’s flat stomach, his hipbones, the thin trail of blond hair leading into Kei’s underwear. Akiteru has an idea, and nudges Kei until he comprehends, and climbs onto the bed until he’s able to kneel, with his back still turned towards Akiteru who's kneeling behind him.

“Aki”, Kei breathes out, and to his brother’s ears it’s sensual, pleading almost, and Akiteru lets his hand slide lower, lower, until he’s cupping Kei’s arousal, hanging heavy and throbbing between his legs, clothed in only his patterned boxers. Akiteru massages Kei’s length, surprised and a tad jealous that Kei’s already that hard again after their little interruption. Kei rolls his back and ass against Akiteru, in slow, languid movements, and Akiteru lets out a shuddered breath when he hears Kei moan softly. Akiteru’s free hand roams around Kei’s body, twists his delicate nipples, pinches his hipbones and makes his way towards Kei’s ass. His hand slides further down, past the muscular cheek, and into the leg of his pants, and he cups his brother’s ass, kneads the juvenile skin while he places hot kisses against Kei’s jaw, his neck and shoulder. Kei sighs out a whiny noise, and Akiteru’s pretty sure Kei’s embarrassed as hell about it, but he doesn’t know how fucking aroused Akiteru gets by hearing that.

“Aki”, Kei sighs, and Akiteru bites softly into his brother’s shoulder, makes Kei bend his back in both pain and pleasure. Kei’s hand darts behind him, grabbing his brother by his shoulders, arms, hair, whatever he’s able to grasp, and then they slide down, behind Kei’s back, and grope Akiteru through his pants, making the older brother groan against the younger one’s shoulder.

“Kei – I - I can’t – anymore”, Akiteru says through clenched teeth, and spares Kei no more moment before his hand is diving down Kei’s boxers, and grab his length, pumping it in a testing manner. Kei rocks his hips against Akiteru, and lets his head fall backwards, with open mouth and closed eyes, and Akiteru drinks the sight in before he strokes Kei’s cock harder, faster, feels hot drops of precum coating his fingers.

“Then, then do it”, Kei gasps, and rocks his hips back, flush against his brother’s arousal, and works his palm against Akiteru as much as he’s able in that position. “Just like this, like –“

“O-okay”, Akiteru puffs out, and shuffles on his knees, draws his underwear aside until Kei's able to touch his bare erection, thick and throbbing and oozing with precum. Kei strokes him, once twice, and dips his thumb into the slit, makes Akiteru pant through his teeth against Kei’s shoulderblade. Despite Kei’s delicious grip around his length Akiteru lets his hips shrug forward, against Kei’s ass, and he groans when his cock slides into the gap between Kei’s legs, implicating exactly what they’re up to do. Akiteru shoves Kei’s boxers aside, enough for him to feel Kei’s ass against his cock, and he’s worried that he comes, just like this.

“You’re going to prep me?”, Kei asks with an exasperated smirk, and Akiteru lays his forehead against Kei’s back, puffs out constricted breaths for a moment, then he’s leaning away from Kei only to return to the same position a moment later, with a bottle in his hands, popping it open and coating his fingers with the slick fluid.

“Kei, tell me if it’s too much”, he says, then he pulls Kei’s boxers further aside, and circuits Kei’s entrance with his middle finger’s tip, while he places soothing kisses against Kei’s shoulder and neck.

“IT’s – it’s fine”, Kei huffs, “I’ve prepared my-myself a bit earlier – _god_ …!”

Akiteru’s heart leaps viciously against his chest, and when he slides his slick finger inside his brother’s heat he realizes that Kei had indeed prepared himself properly. The thought about Kei with his fingers knuckle-deep inside his hole makes Akiteru’s breath shudder, and his cock twitch in utter anticipation. Akiteru adds another finger shortly after, and a third, and then, when Kei’s panting and shivering under Akiteru’s grasp, he’s twisting them deep inside his brother’s heat, curls them against Kei’s prostate like he knows it’s pleasant, and Kei’s moan breaks into a toneless cry.

“Aki – Aki, enough”, Kei gasps, and fumbles shivering hands around Akiteru’s throbbing cock, and Akiteru complies, pulls his fingers away slowly, until they’re out and Kei’s empty, ready and willing for Akiteru’s cock. “Please, plea –“, Kei whimpers, broken off by Akiteru pumping his cock languidly, and presses his own against Kei’s entrance, breaching the twitching muscle slowly, inch by inch, until he’s about halfway in, and withdraws his hand from around Kei’s cock to press his palms against Kei’s hip, eager to push him flush against his front. Kei gasps and chokes on his own breath, and for a short moment Akiteru fears that it’s too fast, too much pain for Kei to handle. He’s about to pull out, slowly, but Kei’s hand darts down, to clench around Akiteru’s wrist, making him hold his movement.

“Don’t”, he says, constricted, “don’t pull out, don’t – please, I’m fine –“

“You’re in pain”, Akiteru states, but Kei shakes his head hastily.

“No, I’m – it’s good, great – Aki, please – I can bear it, please, don’t stop.” Kei takes a deep breath, and Akiteru moves his hips again, slower, with more caution, and adds another dollop of lube to make this more tolerable for Kei. He’s allowing Akiteru to fuck him, despite all the reasons he shouldn’t, and Akiteru’s not gonna hurt Kei just because he’s not able to keep his libido in check.

“I love you, Kei”, Akiteru murmurs against Kei’s shoulder, and one hand slides down to embrace Kei’s leaking cock, stroking him, loosely enough to keep him from coming but tight enough to distract him from any pain Akiteru’s causing. “I love you, love you…”

“Love you too”, Kei says under his breath, and now he’s relaxing in Akiteru’s hold, still panting and looking like a true mess, but Akiteru knows that it’s fine to continue, to push deeper into his brother’s striking heat. Kei bends his back deliciously, and pushes his ass against Akiteru, until finally, their hips are flush against each other’s, until Akiteru’s finally fully sheathed inside Kei, inside his little baby brother that means more than the world to him. He wheezes, and cocks a lopsided grin, happy and completely at ease, forehead pressed between Kei’s sweaty shoulderblades.

“You can – you can move”, Kei says after a moment, and Akiteru notices how his lips twitch into a half smile. “Move, Aki, I’m begging you –“

And Akiteru moves, and Kei gasps out a noise that’s almost too loud to not get unnoticed. Akiteru’s praying to whatever pervy gods are listening that their mom's fast asleep, and that their little incestuous secret stays well-kept, for now and for all time.

“Ah – Aki…!” Kei breathes out shakily, and rolls his back like a stretching cat, ass bumping against Akiteru in a manner that enables Akiteru to go even deeper, to drive his cock even more into his brother’s slick hole. Akiteru’s hands dart upwards, to where Kei’s nipples are hard and pink, and he twists them between his fingers, brushing his palms over his brother’s chest, until something inside Akiteru snaps and he shoves Kei face-forward into the sheets, earning a breathless yelp from Kei.

“I’m so – I’m so sorry”, Akiteru growls, and then he’s pulling out almost completely and drives back in up to the hilt, so deep that Kei has to cry out in the blanket to keep his voice as silent as possible. Akiteru grabs Kei by the waist, savors his brother’s beautifully shaped hip and ass for a moment, and admires the way his cock is buried inside him, sucked in deep by his brother’s pulsing hole. He pulls out and pushes inside, with languid movements, to give Kei the time to adjust to this new angle, and Kei’s not complaining, just clenches his hands into the sheets and bends his back beautifully, until his chest lies almost flush against the bed. Akiteru has had a few lovers in his life, but no one comes close to Kei. He’s so obliging, so willing, so eager to let Akiteru pound his hole as deep as he can, and the noises he makes, the growls and gasps and moans into the pillow are music to Akiteru’s ears. Akiteru sighs out a shuddery breath and leans forward, gently placing a hand between Kei’s shoulderblades, and watches himself pulling out and sinking back deep into Kei, until the tell-tale heat begins to accumulate inside his lower abdomen, making his cock twitch and hips become unsteady.

“Kei, I – I, ah”, he’s able to vocalize, and sees Kei grab a handful of the blanket, turning around to look at Akiteru. The way Kei looks – devastated, with messy hair and tear-filled eyes, panting open-mouthed makes Akiteru’s mouth dry. That Kei is willing to give him so, so much of himself, that he’s ready to show Akiteru his most vulnerable side is almost enough to drive Akiteru over the edge. He leans down, and kisses Kei as much as he’s able to, sloppily and with too much saliva, but he wants to be close to Kei, wants to crawl under his brother’s skin and stay there until doomsday, and again he’s acting out of sheer instinct. Carefully, he pulls out, and winces when Kei whines out in desperation. He flicks Kei around to lie on his back and fiddles Kei’s soaked underwear off his legs in a haze, destined to be as close as possible without a lot of interruption. Akiteru looks down, and drinks in the way Kei’s panting, with his heaving chest and hazy eyes, and his grabby hands trying to pull Akiteru closer again. Kei’s completely naked, bare beneath his brother, and it’s the best thing Akiteru has ever seen in his young life. He leans forward to place tender kisses against Kei’s chest, his neck and jaw, and lines his length up with Kei’s entrance, in a lust-induced frenzy, raring to fuck his little brother and finally push both of them over the edge. He waits a moment for Kei to steady his breath, and drives his cock inside his brother’s pulsating heat, making Kei gasp out in surprise.

“You’re so hot, Kei”, Akiteru murmurs against Kei’s chest, and faintly notices Kei wrapping his legs around his waist, eager to push Akiteru deeper, deeper. “So – so hot, so warm.” Akiteru’s hips stutter against Kei’s ass, and he falls down to lean on his elbows, breathes hot against Kei’s neck while Kei lets his hand slide down between them to grab his own cock.

“I’m – Aki, I’m close”, Kei puffs out, and clenches his legs hard around Akiteru’s waist. Akiteru, convinced that an overwhelming orgasm is the least he can do for Kei shifts his weight fully onto his right arm and reaches downwards with the other, swats Kei’s shivering hand away and pumps his cock in the half-hearted rhythm of his own thrusts. Only, one, two more strokes and the pounding of cock into Kei’s clenching heat is everything Kei needs to come with a toneless shudder, spilling over Akiteru’s fist and their stomachs. Kei’s hole constricts around Akiteru’s cock, pulsates and suddenly the older brother’s thrown over the edge before he’s really prepared. He comes with a growl against Kei’s neck, bites into his brother’s delicious flesh and presses against Kei so viciously that Kei has to grip the bedsheets to maintain his position. Akiteru pushes his dick into his brother’s slick heat again, slower, shallow, until he’s able to feel his toes again. A tingling inside his ears almost cuts off Kei’s gasps for breath, and when Akiteru’s able to focus again he sees his brother grinning in complete bliss. Akiteru pulls out, cautiously, and both brothers hiss in the process, entirely overstimulated but so, so deeply satisfied with the evening’s turn of events. Akiteru lets his boneless body flop down next to Kei, and the younger brother looks at the ceiling, with foggy eyes, naked and perfectly fine with it. A large bruise begins to show itself on his neck, and Akiteru wonders if it's possible to hide that properly.

“Kei that”, Akiteru begins, and is surprised by his own husky voice, “That was…”

“Yeah”, Kei says, in loss for proper words, and rolls on his side to look at Akiteru. His blissfulness makes way for a pensive glance, and Akiteru’s inclined to see tenderness in it, care almost. “I’m… in loss for words, I guess.”

“That’s two firsts in one day”, Akiteru says, earning a pout and a fist bumping his shoulder in return. Akiteru grabs Kei’s fingers, and intertwines them with his own. There’s that question lying on his tongue, and by the way Kei looks at him he wants to ask the same.

“And now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](https://ira158.tumblr.com/)   
> 


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